September 09, 2003

Happy Birthday, Scabby!

39 years ago today, the world was blessed by the arrival of Bill. In honor of that momentous occasion I have written a little song (roughly the same tune as South Park's "Merry F'ing Christmas" song)...

Today is Bill's birthday

He is so cool

Today is Bill's birthday

And he has a pool!

Happy happy birthday

I hope you can go out

Happy happy birthday

Too bad you have ball gout!

Happy Birthday, Bill!

(censored verse below...language alert)

Censored verse:

Happy birthday Billy

I know this song is shit

Happy birthday Billy

You'll never see my tits!

Posted by Jennifer at September 9, 2003 12:20 AM

I was touched.

Posted by: Ted at September 9, 2003 06:41 AM

Oh, good...I was worried it would be too sappy. Looks like it's just right.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 9, 2003 06:51 AM

I was moved. Fortunately, I *was* in the bathroom, laptop on my lap, at the time.

Posted by: Victor at September 9, 2003 07:34 AM

That is what we call TMI, Victor.

It's a shame Bill won't know about my lovely tune for him...he's in DC today. Oh well.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 9, 2003 07:35 AM

I think the song is very sad. I mean, can you say with absolute certainty that he will never see your tits? I mean, anything can happen. What if you flash them at the Super Bowl or something? It could happen. Or what if he becomes a doctor, and someday you go to him, not knowing who he is or anything. Or what if someday at the beach, your top comes off when a big wave hits. You can't predict the future. I think it's sad that you have ruled out these possibilities on his birthday.

But I still love you.

Posted by: Paul at September 9, 2003 07:55 AM

Victor redefines multi-tasking. Let's hope he hasn't embraced the 'paperless office' concept.

Posted by: Ted at September 9, 2003 08:24 AM

Yes, Ted, let's hope.

Paul...Bill wants me to post a picture of my chestal area and it isn't gonna happen. As for the other possibilities, they seem unlikely. Of course, far be it for me to ruin anyone's fantasy.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 9, 2003 08:28 AM

chestal area? sounds vaguely topographic, like northern nipplestan.

Posted by: Ted at September 9, 2003 12:43 PM

I use to like that show Twin Peaks. What the heck made me think of that?

Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 9, 2003 06:18 PM

Hmm. Strange.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 9, 2003 10:15 PM