September 18, 2003

Spam Rant

This is R-rated. Mookie and any other kids, look away.

I just got an e-mail with the subject line, "In a Large Cock Society, You Need Help to Compete."

Are you frigging kidding me?

First of all, I do not need to increase the girth, length, or stamina of my erections, thankyouverymuch. A pox on the spammers who send me Viagra and other sexual performance/enhancement drug ads!

Second of all, I do not want to "go all night." After a certain amount of time, it's more uncomfortable than pleasurable, m'kay?

Third of all, "average" is just fine by me. To borrow a line from Margaret Cho, "It's not like I have some cavernous pussy!" Too big is definitely NOT better...I speak from experience.

Thank you, I feel better now.

Posted by Jennifer at September 18, 2003 02:52 AM
Comments

I have to wonder how many people really fall for those "increase size" ads.

Posted by: Pete at September 18, 2003 04:14 AM

I don't know, but to the one person in a billion who buys crap from spam so the spammers think it is worthwhile to pollute my inbox, I HATE YOU.

Posted by: Jennifer at September 18, 2003 04:22 AM

You're blocking, tell us how you REALLY feel, Jen. Don't hold back like this

Posted by: Pete at September 18, 2003 05:18 AM

hate 'em


Posted by: jim at September 18, 2003 10:48 AM

What gets me, Jennifer, is although they offer to enlarge my penis, they never tell me how I am supposed to obtain one...

Posted by: Susie at September 18, 2003 04:30 PM

..also, I need to remember not to shout out loud:

"No, I dont want:
'free cigarettes',
'to get laid now', or
'to enlarge my penis' !!"

...it upsets, and amuses my co-workers.

Posted by: jim at September 18, 2003 04:32 PM

I once did a study of my (then) little-used hotmail account. Of 43 or so e-mails, 13,I believe were about enlarging my non-existent penis. This is probably back in April when I first started blogging. I got so many Google searches from that post (Gainpro was the advertised product) that it was ... scary.

hln

Posted by: hln at September 23, 2003 11:58 AM

Hee! Cho! *snicker*

Posted by: Erica at September 23, 2003 02:04 PM

I was wondering today who would merit a lower level of hell, spammers or virus writers. Then I thought that they could share the lowest level, but the spammers' efforts would be fouled by the viruses crashing their systems, and the virus writers would be unable to find time to write any viruses because they would be too busy deleting spam.

Also, their pants would be infested with poisonous stinging insects, they would be continually on fire, and their PC speakers would be playing nothing but Michael Bolton / Kenny G. duets.

Spammers and virus writers: I don't like them.

Posted by: Mr. Green at September 23, 2003 09:46 PM


Jew