December 12, 2003

You Asked, LeeAnn Answers

LeeAnn has answered your questions!

Find out where the boobie pictures are, what she snuck onto the island, and much more!

Click it now!

You say 'you learn from your mistakes'..what was the biggest one you made, why did you make it, and what did you learn from it?
My very biggest mistake was not going to college right after graduation from high school. I've attended several universities on and off since then, when the finances were right, but never long enough to get a degree. Just long enough to tease me with the possibilities. I was stupidly convinced that I was truly in love at the time, and the BF was so intimidated by the thought that I might meet someone else while in an environment that didn't include him that he persuaded me not to go. What did I learn? Don't let the loins heart rule the head.

What is your favorite conspiracy theory?
That Elvis is still alive and performing in Las Vegas as a Himself Imitator.

What actress, in what role, most closely reflects the true "LeeAnn". If that's too hard.....pls tell us which character in Breakfast Club most closely represents your HS persona?
Ideally, I would be the Lucy Lui character in "Charlie's Angels". In reality, I'm more like Skrat in "Ice Age." It's easy to pin me down in high school.... I was the Ally Sheedy character, right down to the Converse sneakers.

Were you the class clown in school?
I was the class clown in junior high. By high school, I was eating my lunch in a hidey-hole under the stairs, and avoiding as much human contact as possible. Puberty is a cruel mistress.

If you are one of the last two Survivors, what will you offer the ex-survivors to convince them to vote for you to be the winner?
Well, I have that secret Snickers bar that I smuggled in, hidden.... you don't really need the details, do you?

You're on a deserted island with Emily, Helen and Jim. What are the sleeping arrangements?
Rotational, of course, like volleyball.
Unless Jim snores, then he's on the other side of the dune by himself. Sorry, dude, we need our beauty sleep.

Where are the boobie pictures?
In a secret vault under the Cheyenne Mountains, guarded by Batman and the X-men.

Does GM1 stand for anything?
It stands for his rate in the Navy, Gunner's Mate First Class.

What would you change about the GM1? What wouldn't you change about him?
I'd change his snoring. We get calls from the airport that he's making the jets feel inadequate.
What wouldn't I change? His complete acceptance of and patience with me. That man is a saint. A saint with bad adenoids.

Have you forgiven him for the comment about, "How pretty young girls are?" yet?
Oh sure, I forgave him a long time ago. Did I tell him I forgave him? How blonde do you think I really am?

A while ago, you had a little memorial picture of Stuart the Guinea Pig. Can you tell us a bit about Stuart?
Stuart was an attempt to have a cuddly pet in an apartment where I couldn't have cats or dogs. Unfortunately, Stuart was xenophobic and hated to be touched. He was a bundle of nerves in a cloud of fur, he freaked out at the smallest thing. Changing his water bottle would send him into shrieking whistling fits that lasted 30 minutes. He was also the most expensive pet I've ever had. He had allergies, rashes, skin disorders.... all due to his hysterical personality. A typical vet visit cost me $350 dollars in oinments, creams, and special soaps.
Stuart also lived for the joy of piddling on me on any occassion I had to hold him.
I miss him a lot.

Do you have any pictures of your rats you could share with us? I mean your former pets, not your neighbors.
I have a picture of my favorite rat, Alan, which I'll post on my blog later, on his birthday. He was the best rat ever. He was the Sidney Greenstreet of rats. I've never seen a common pet rat get so huge. Eventually he was so fat his legs would only support him for short distances, and when he'd lie on his belly, he was the same size as a dinner plate. He had a heart of gold and the digestive system of a garbage disposal.

You've taken roughly 81 different internet polls in an attempt to find out, "What kind of (noun) are you?" Have you discovered yourself yet?
Several times. And all of them entirely different. Some say "schizo." I prefer "multi-layered'.

Do you think the rule barring sex in the Champagne Room would be lifted if someone tried to have sex with the bartender?
I heard that Harvey tried to put the moves on The Bartender, and the pictures that showed up in the Weekly World News the next week were the cause of the rule. Just something I heard. Not that I saw the pictures. Or went blind and had to spend all my tip jar on a seeing eye monkey. Yeah, thanks a lot, guys!
Uh, I mean.... just something I heard.

Why didn't you call your blog "Heigh Ho the Derry-O"?
Because I didn't wake up with the complete rhyme stuck in my head, just that one line. "The Cheese Stands Alone." But now that I think about it, "Heigh Ho the Derry-O" is a creepy phrase. "Heigh-ho" is what the seven dwarves sang, and few things are as scary as a midget with a pick-axe. Derry is the town in the Stephen King universe where all the Bad Stuff happens. Like clowns in sewers, luring little children to a gory end and then you wind up a grown woman afraid to sleep without a nightlight.

Do you really wear glasses?
Oh yeah, I'm blind as the proverbial bat. I normally wear contacts, though, the odd colored ones. I mean like one violet and one emerald green. I wish they made plaid contacts.

What is your stance on pumpkin pie?
Blech. Icky. Squishy trick of vegetarians cookery villains.
Give me French silk chocolate pie any day.

How did you find out Santa Claus was a fraud?
What do you mean, a fraud? Huh? Did the Tooth Fairy put you up to this?

You are in jail. Who do you make your one phone call to?
I'd have to call my mom, because she is the best in the world at saying "I told you so."

Why are you in jail to begin with?
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you..... too.

Posted by Jennifer at December 12, 2003 08:10 AM


Thank you, Jen! It's not often I get to fib... er, speak so candidly about myself. :)
It was fun! All of you, sign up to be interviewed by Jen immediately!

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 12, 2003 08:36 AM

Holy Moley that was funny! Great interview, LeeAnn!

Posted by: Victor at December 12, 2003 08:43 AM

I would comment if I could only stop laughin'!

Posted by: Tiger at December 12, 2003 09:06 AM

"multi layered"...very clever.

Posted by: jim at December 12, 2003 09:10 AM

Great interview, LeeAnn!

Posted by: Susie at December 12, 2003 10:00 AM

So what sort of (noun) are you, anyway?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 12, 2003 10:44 AM

Pixy- I'm a kaleidoscope.

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 12, 2003 11:03 AM

Very cool, I shudder to think at what off the wall questions i'd be asked...

Posted by: pylorns at December 12, 2003 03:37 PM

Yes, but what sort of kaleidoscope? One of the fancy Victorian brass ones? Or a cheap cardboard kiddy model?

Posted by: Pixy Misa at December 12, 2003 07:10 PM

One of those nice carved wooden ones like you used to be able to get at Museum Company, which you probably didn't have in DownUnderLand and which is out of business anyways so there I am, a very nice obsolete piece of dead tree filled with trashy bits of broken colored glass and unable to get replacement parts and thank you so much for the painful memory of it all.
*sniffle* Who's up for brunch?

Posted by: LeeAnn at December 12, 2003 08:52 PM

LeeAnn sounds like the most fun person ever - she's the cat's meow to me :) Great interview! I di'n't know this was coming up or I would have sent in a lot of questions she wou'dn't know the answers to, but then I already know how that would go they'd ask you a question and you'd be all I dunno and it would just go on like that till they got through my questions. This interview turnt out a lot better than that would.

Posted by: Ralph Waldo Emersonski at December 12, 2003 09:03 PM

"Few things are as scary as a midget with a pickaxe"! God, I'm still laughing at that one...

Posted by: Helen at December 13, 2003 06:12 AM

LeeAnn is like an onion. Onions have layers. LeeAnn has layers. How about a nice parfait. Everybody loves parfait.

Posted by: Kin at December 13, 2003 05:28 PM

Is it just me or are all the Munu interviews are the best ones? ;-)

Posted by: Simon at December 13, 2003 05:58 PM

Hell no, I don't want no parfait.

Posted by: Jennifer at December 13, 2003 07:20 PM