It would have to include some serious recording and parsing gear. No way I could stand listening though the boredom that is another person's life. I mean if you think about it, what percentage of your life is actually interesting? I don't want to be waiting through somebody's trip to the crapper in order to get the 20 minutes of interesting stuff each day.

That said, my secret microphone would be in Kofi Annan. I don't really care precisely where (that's a decision for the CIA team that implants it) as long as it picks up surrounding conversations. I'm genuinely curious about whether he's clueless or just evil.

John Kerry's private plane. You just know he hates his constituants. He looks like the type of person who hates old people and children.

All my favorite choices would involve time travel. But, since that'd be cheating, I'll say that I'd like to put it on Dennis Miller. I'm guessing that his day-to-day banter is as consistently hilarious as his on-air banter.

Spork - Good call! Sign me up for a live feed on that broadcast :-)