July 08, 2004

You Asked--Trixie Misa Answers

At last, the long-awaited Trixie Misa interview!

For those unfamiliar, Trixie is Pixy's granddaughter from the future. Thanks to the miracle of time-travel and such, she was able to answer your questions about life in the future.

In the extended.

What's with all of the Misas and the time travel and such?

Apparently, Zebrixy Misa, my great^219th-niece, tamed a chronosynclastic
infundibulum sometime in the 757th century. We can't actually travel in
time, but we can send letters back and forth.

How old are you?

22 Earth-standard chronological.

Do you have big hooters like a Manga chick or are you flat chested like an Anime chick?

Don't you have that the wrong way round?

But anyway, I've had them stabilised at 36B. (I sometimes let them out
a bit for parties, but I always have a backache afterwards.)

How's global warming working out for us?

Just lovely! Average precipitation across Australia, for example,
increased by 72% during the 21st century. Greenland now has a thriving
tourist industry. Shame about the penguins, though.

Then of course there are the thousands of miles of new coastline between
California and Nevada. Mind you, that wasn't *just* global warming...

Can you tell me the winning lottery numbers for next Saturday's drawing, please?

Well, if I knew where you were, and when you were, and which lottery you
meant, then I would.

Sorry. Try to be more specific next time.

Did we ever find Osama bin Laden?

An Afghan undergraduate archaeological group reported finding traces of
his DNA in a cave in January 2016. That's about it as far as I know.

Who won the 2004 USA presidential election?

The what? Oh, politics. I'll look it up. Hmm. It says "George W.
Bush". Does that sound right? It's in the chapter on the Great
Insanity Epidemic of 2005.

Was nanotechnology a passing fad?

Um. Nanotechnology is just chemistry done really really carefully.
It's pretty much universal these days. About like electricity was to
the 20th century,

Did Pixy work himself into an early grave?

I'll ask him the next time I see him. He's in cold sleep right now
bound for Epsilon Eridani.

When did Munuvia finally take over the world?

Not until 2009. There were some technical glitches along the way, as I
understand it.

Who did Pixy marry and when did he find the time?

He married Grandma, silly!

I think she tripped him up and sat on him 'til he said yes.

What are some of the biggest moments from the last century?

Well, the Insanity Epidemic of 2005 that I mentioned before is generally
regarded as the beginning of the new era. That ushered in a
century-long economic boom that we're still enjoying.

The 2009 Mu.Nu World Domination Tour, of course.

The release of The Sims 3 in 2011 which allowed us to keep the millions
of epidemic victims quiet and happy.

The discovery of ellipsium in 2017 which gave us clean, cheap,
inexhaustible energy, although we didn't realise it then. At the time,
it just meant a great big hole in the ground. (See Nevada, Gulf of.)

The completion of the first orbital tower in 2029.

The 2036 Triplanetary Cup. Australia wins! Australia wins!

The invention in 2039 of the breast control pill.

The discovery in 2041 by Oort Explorer 3 of conclusive evidence that the
Fine Structure Constant isn't.

The annexation of France by Andorra in 2046 caused a lot of fuss at the
time, but is widely regarded now as the only thing that could have been

The release of The Sims 4 in 2048.

The invention of the Sleep Compiler in 2049.

Lance Armstrong's 7th consecutive Tour de Andorra win in 2053.

The invention of ultrasilk in 2061, and the subsequent creation of a
comfortable sports bra.

The sugarpeople craze of the late 2060s. Every child could be the mad
dictator of their own tiny kingdom! (Outlawed by the time I was born,

The discovery of microbial life on Tau Ceti IV in 2072 by the Starwisp
Probe Richard P. Feynmann.

The launch of the great interstellar exploration fleet beginning with
the Iain Banks and the Lois Bujold in 2079.

The invention of hypersilk in 2088 that made ultrasilk feel like canvas
by comparison.

And of course the Bicentennial Olympics held on Olympus Mons on Mars in

Does everyone have flying cars yet?

Well, *I* don't, dammit! Unfair! Unfair!

How old are humans living to be now?

Um, people generally stopped dying involuntarily of old age by 2040 or
so. Life expectancy is currently increasing at a rate of (let me check)
1.3 years per year, which makes your question somewhat hard to answer.

I assume they've cured cancer and AIDS by now, but what about the common cold?

The what? Is that something like a lurgy? Or more like a grippe?

Tell us about your favorite TV show.

TV? Oh, sensies, right. I kind of like Meply Smirnoff. It's about
this Siberian monopole hunter out in Oort Cloud, stuck on a ship with
failed engines. While he's waiting for the Siberian Monopole
Corporation rescue team to arrive, the people back on Earth keep him
from going mad by beaming these *terrible* old movies at him. He's got
these sarcastic robots that he's built out of scrap and they just sit
there and make fun of the movies! It's *so* funny and *so* original!

What do you do for fun?

I do polyvariate simulations of Abelian groups in fractally dimensional
tensor spaces. That or analytic and
algebraic topology of locally Euclidean metrisation of infinitely
differentiable Riemannian manifolds.

Oh, and teasing boys. And blowing up planets, that's also good.

Describe a typical day in your life.

I usually wake up around 6:30 am. Then again around 7. And again at
7:15, 7:20, 7:25 and finally my bed dumps me out on the floor at 7:30. I
then dash through the cleaner, throw on some clothes, drink some
breakfast, pop some toothgum and run out the door while my clothes are
still adjusting.

Assuming I catch the rail in time, I'm at my workstation by 8. After
checking my news, mail, voice, vids, imms, pings, sprites and indies,
I'll settle into a round of stochastic modelling of wave-harmonic
transforms of dream states until lunchtime.

Lunch is usually a quick snackwich while I check out any news, mail,
voice, vids, imms, pings, sprites or indies I received while I was in
dreamspace, and then, if there's time, I'll check out Mathnet to see if
there's any new lemmas I might be interested in.

In the afternoon if I'm lucky I'll be modelling for a production rather
than running models on the computer. I got great reviews for my
D'Artagnan, so since then I've been called up regularly for minor roles.
Right now they're auditioning for the adults-only historical drama
Ivanho' which is resulting in a great deal of giggling in the rec room.

After work I head back home to log in for school. Psych is interesting.
People are really weird, you know? No, I mean *really* weird.

After class, I'll kick back and relax. Program some dinner, maybe catch
a sensie or a flick. By 10pm Universe 2 is starting to get busy, so
I'll spend a couple or four hours there. Now that we've developed
superspace technology, the fleets of my team - the Uncharted Alliance -
are really starting to kick ass around the Orion Arm. Nothing like
blowing some uppity planet to cinders to let off steam.

So, around 2am I'll sign off the game, and spend an hour or two on the
grid, chatting and planning strategy, and catching up on any anything
that might have come my way.

Then, by 4am sharp, I'll have the sleep compiler set, a dream already
dialed in (advantage of working for Dreamchannel, you get open access to
the library) and I'm off to Sleepy Bobo's. Since the compiler's been
fixed it runs all the way up to 5-to-1, though that tends to leave me
with a headache. 4 is safe, and that should be plenty of time for a
6:30 start. Never works out, but anyway...

Are there any Moon colonies? I certainly hope not because who the hell wants to live on the Moon?

Thirty million loonies can't be wrong. Well, they *can*, but it's a
great place for a holiday. (For whoever asked me about my hooters,
consider for a moment the advantages of one-sixth normal gravity. For
the ladies - err, assuming that *wasn't* one of the ladies - no backache!)

Gotta dash now, because the C.I. is due any minute.

All my love to the 21st Century,


Posted by Jennifer at July 8, 2004 03:40 PM


Wow! That passed my lunch break nicely. Bravo!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at July 9, 2004 12:24 PM

And my dh wonders why I love the internet so much.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at November 8, 2004 06:49 AM