*Wisconsin

I love Wisconsin. After all, I was born there. I have gazillions of relatives living there. I try to visit at least once a year.

From what I understand (you can't prove I'm watching the cable news channels), Wisconsin is getting a lot of airtime in the news right now.

So in the extended, something my daddy (also a native Wisconsinite) forwarded to me today that Wisconsin types may appreciate. (That's you, Harvey.)

Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin

If you consider it a sport to gather your food
by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all
day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in
Wisconsin.

If you have ever refused to buy something
because it's "too spendy",you might live in Wisconsin.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through
March, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of
the year, you might live in Wisconsin.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and
they don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle
of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you
have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same
time, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have either a pet or a child named
"Brett", you might live in Wisconsin.

If your town has an equal number of bars and
churches, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation
with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Wisconsin.

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha,
Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.

If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing
bear,and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue
waters, ....you might live in Wisconsin.

Series II. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and
back again.

6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.

7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events. (including
weddings)

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend
knows how to use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's
Fleet Farm at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.

15. You refer to the Packers as "we."

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction.

17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.

19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.

20. You know how to polka.

21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce.

22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

23. Down South to you means Iowa.

24. A brat is something you eat.

25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

26. You go out to fish fry every Friday

27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

29. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to
all your Wisconsin friends.

Posted by Jennifer at November 2, 2004 10:50 PM

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