For A...
"Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't; men hope women won't change but they do."-Bettina Arndt
And because it's my nephew's birthday...
"I have nephews...I remember the first time they stayed with us. My sister-in-law calls me--it was after midnight--and she's like, 'Did you have a hard time getting the boys to sleep?' I'm like, 'Sleep? Girl, we're sitting up drinking liquor, playing Nintendo.'"-Wanda Sykes