July 14, 2005
Free Advice, Part 478
Guys, I'm going to tell you something, and I want you to believe me:
DO NOT TRUST WOMEN TO HANDLE BIRTH CONTROL.
This goes double if she...
...has money trouble or
...needs a green card or
...generally likes to sit on her ass or
...is 28 and older, with no kids or
...comes from an unstable home life (such as, her parents won't have anything to do with her or vice versa, regardless of the reason she tells you) or
...lets you pay for everything or
...has a previous child out of wedlock or
...talks about wanting children early and often
Now, I myself qualify under one or more of those criteria. Don't trust me either. No matter how wonderful you think your girl is, you need to protect yourself. Unless you like to be called "Daddy" outside the bedroom.
Posted by Jennifer at July 14, 2005 11:00 AM | TrackBackWait... HOW old did you say you were? :-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 14, 2005 01:44 PMYou did not need the qualifier "to handle birth control" - those first four words were just fine. Of course, I want a baby, so women shouldnt trust me not to split the condom either :P
Posted by: Monjo at July 14, 2005 01:49 PMThe question is, will you call me daddy *inside* the bedroom? ;)
Posted by: TheBisch at July 14, 2005 01:59 PMAre you with child?
Posted by: Tom at July 14, 2005 02:17 PM31 in September.
Women shouldn't trust men, either.
I'll call you "Daddy" if you're into that.
Hell, no, I am not with child.
Posted by: Jennifer at July 14, 2005 02:20 PMOh, just wondering. I hope I didn't offend.
Posted by: Tom at July 14, 2005 02:30 PMNo offense taken. I was just horrified by the thought.
Posted by: Jennifer at July 14, 2005 02:34 PMI like it when the missus gets pregnant, because babies make a great pot roast. And that stuff is stellar as leftovers too, so it's like the gift that keeps on giving.
Posted by: shank at July 14, 2005 02:36 PMYour bro facing a shotgun marriage?
Posted by: Victor at July 14, 2005 07:27 PMWhen I was in high school my mother warned me that some woman someday might lie to me and trick me into fatherhood. I thought she was insane. Then about eight years later... well... nevermind.
Posted by: Tuning Spork at July 14, 2005 09:28 PMGreat advice, I wish I could poor it into every guy's ear with a funnel.
Smart advice, hope someone reads it, and dodges the bullet and is able to look back one day and realize how lucky he was.
I'm 53 year old woman and keep watching good life's getting ruined just because the guy didn't dodge that bullet.
I agree with Jennifer here. I "knew" several women who confided in me that they had gotten pregnant on purpose.....just because they wanted to get married and have someone take over from Daddy's care...then I annihilated them. Can't stand women like that. It really pisses me off and makes us all pay the price for those dumb bitches. (Sorry for the language but its true and therefore necessary.) Conversely, men who are irresponsible, need to use the little man's raincoat...all the time...it only makes sense these days for the other obvious reason of potential STDs....(be careful out there)...
It does take responsibility on both sides.
Since I can't get pregnant, yippee, no worries on that front, but I am single, never had the desire for duplication of self, and I can take care of myself just fine...so, if I am with a man, its due to him and not from the desperation described in Jennifer's post.
^5 Jennifer, I shudder too
Posted by: Sinequanon at July 15, 2005 08:34 PMI'm adding a bit of advice...
Stay away from women who want to call you 'Daddy' in the bedroom.
Can you say..."issues"?
Why are you sleeping with her if you can't trust her to be honest about birth control?
Posted by: Angie at July 18, 2005 08:21 PMBecause she's hot, and I'm drunk.
Posted by: shank at July 19, 2005 08:01 AMIf I haven't said this before, Shank, you're one sick fuck.
Posted by: Oorgo at July 19, 2005 07:02 PM
Jew