Theory on Deer

I've decided that deer aren't the idiots we think they are. Sure, they end up splattered all over the highway--and occasionally the sidewalk*--but the truth is, they're doing it on purpose.

They are suicide bombers--without the bombs.

Lacking opposable thumbs, they can't make bombs. Lacking jobs, they can't buy bombs. Monkeys won't cooperate with them and build bombs on their behalf. So their options are limited.

They throw themselves in front of cars to protest deforestation and asphalt proliferation! Sure, they die...but occasionally they take us with them. And all too often, an innocent Honda or Kia is taken as well.

I've always been a bit queasy about hunting--figuring it was somewhat necessary but not really liking it. But now that I've discovered the truth, I say we get the deer before the deer get us!

* The Iowa State Historical Society building is downtown and has steps on it so you can climb up to the roof from the outside. There are trees up on the roof and it's a nice place to sit and eat or just relax. A few years ago, a deer made it up to the top of the building...and jumped.

Posted by Jennifer at October 2, 2004 12:08 AM