January 19, 2005

Baby Wings Interview

It's the Baby Wings Interview!

In the extended...

What made you start blogging?

I first discovered Blogs via www.strategypage.com by reading some great stuff from Lt. Smash. He's kind of my blogfather. I was hooked from then on and surfed from his page to several others – namely Blackfive. So I claim them both as blogfathers. I think they would both deny any knowledge of me, and rightly so.

What kind of pajamas do you wear whilst blogging?

Red, White, and Blue flannel. I love flannel.

Boxers or briefs?

Boxers, duh!

What 3 things make you the most angry?

Liberals, Islamofascists, and Terrorists. When I think of the other two, I’ll send you an email.

You are in jail. Who do you make your one phone call to?

My lovely wife!

Why are you in jail to begin with?

I’m not in jail. I was never ‘there’, I didn’t converse with that person, and I don’t know how the terrorist ended up dead – looks like suicide to me… 20+ stab wounds? A very, very determined suicide! Must be all those virgins he was looking forward to.

Are you the kind of friend you want your friends to be?

Yes and no. I’m a good listener. Sorry, you were saying?

If you killed a spider in your house would you use your bare hand?

Uuummmm… NO. My lovely wife and I have an agreement. I never have to ‘deal with spiders’, and she never has to ‘deal with snakes.’

Zoos--fun for everyone or depressing?

Depressing in a fun sort of way.

If you had the One Ring, what would you do?

Control Usama – and make him tell all his little fascist friends to immediately commit suicide - in a very determined manner.

How did you find out Santa Claus was a fraud?

YOU LIE! He is NOT a fraud! How dare you! Sheesh! Are you a liberal or something?

If you were really really hungry and there was nothing in the fridge but mayo, olives, hersheys chocolate syrup, salsa and a few stale candy corns from last Halloween, what would you do?

Funny thing is I still have some great recipes in my head from my bachelor days. With all those fantastic ingredients, I’d have a feast! Oh, and Candy Corn is capitalized since it is the very finest of candies, and further, it doesn’t go stale. Ever.

If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Kitten Tika Masala

Do you think colonizing Mars is the best use of our resources?

Absolutely. The VRC needs someplace to send all the liberofascists that want to leave America now that President Bush has been elected again.

If you had to change lives with someone from any period of history, who would it be?

Winston Churchill. I would love to have been at the party when the old lady told him he was drunk. His reply is so very classic, and I’d love to deliver it myself: “Yes Madame, I am drunk. You, on the other hand, are ugly. Tomorrow I will be sober; but you will still be ugly.” (As close as I can remember it!)

What'd be your weapon of choice if confronted with Osama bin Laden?

A safety pin. It’d take longer that way.

Why do you think it is so rare to find an American presidential candidate with facial hair?

I think most feel it’s bad luck. Besides when things go bad in a debate, it leaves your opponent with one more spot to grab you.

They say you should learn from your mistakes: what was the biggest one you made, why did you make it, and what did you learn from it?

Seriously? Turning my back on God at a very young age. After many years of floundering and searching, I came to the realization that I would not get out of this life alive, and I really needed Gods’ help in everything I did. I went to church with a friend (who later became my lovely wife) and I found the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

Not Seriously: Getting a cat. Two words: Cat Wings. Tobasco sauce fixes everything!

What is your favorite conspiracy theory?

That Al Gore really did invent the Internet.

What would you change about yourself? What wouldn't you change about yourself?

My publicist. My family.

Posted by Jennifer at January 19, 2005 10:00 AM


Flannel rocks!!!

Posted by: Mark at January 19, 2005 01:03 PM

Regret to disappoint Baby Wings, but it was Harry Birkenhead (First Earl Birkenhead) who said that great quote about the woman still being ugly in the morning. Not Churchill.

Posted by: Dr_Funk at January 19, 2005 08:07 PM

Apparently a very common error in attribution:


Thanks! I'll keep looking. I can't seem to find anything by Henry Birkenhead.

Posted by: El Bandito at January 20, 2005 11:55 AM