Toy Box Inspiration: Dinosaurs, Part Two

(cross-posted to DDBBG)

To recap, I am identifying dinosaurs found in my nephew's toybox. Because I am desperate for material.

Second dino:

(click for dino-size)

What we have here is a mighty herbivore that I grew up thinking was the Brontosaurus, but which is actually a Brachiosaurus. There is no such thing as a Brontosaurus! The guy who found the "Brontosaurus" skull mistakenly identified it as belonging to a new species, but it was really the skull of the already-discovered Apatosaurus, which looks a lot like a Brachiosaurus, but has a much longer tail. Confused yet?

Anywho, the Brachiosaurus was featured as the "veggiesaur" in Jurassic Park that sneezed on Lex. The dino in the movie was more anatomically correct than the dino in the toy box. Brachiosaurus has longer forelimbs than hindlimbs, much like a giraffe. Possibly the toybox version above is some other sauropod, but based on the skull shape and tail length, I'm sticking with Brachiosaurus as my identification here.

Brachiosaurus was one of the biggest dinosaurs and weighed in at around 35 tons. (Completely unrelated link to something else weighing 35 tons.)

*Toy Box Inspiration: Dinosaurs, Part One

(cross-posted to DDBBG)

So, I needed a little inspiration to post, and I found it in my nephew's box of dinosaurs. He's always liked dinosaurs, and I have encouraged that interest. I try to teach him the names of the different dinosaurs, and what they eat, etc.

Here is the first dinosaur...

(click to enlarge)

Notice the trees I positioned to make it more life-like? Awesome.

Now. What I believe we have here is the mighty stegosaurus. Notice the spikes on the tail, and the alternating armour plates on either side of the spine? Its head seems a little big, but toy dinosaurs aren't always entirely anatomically correct...or maybe they got crazy and made a less-well-known stegosaur. Anywho, this guy was about the size of a bus, and was an herbivore.

See how his front legs bow out like a lizard? That stance, combined with relatively short limbs compared to his bulk, probably mean the stegosaurus was not exactly winning any land races. The tail spikes and possibly the spinal plates were used in defense against predators. Imagine the predator that would look at a spikey, bus-sized stegosaurus and think, "Mmm, tasty."

November 3, 1883

Black Bart makes his final stagecoach robbery.

He was a poet, you know.

*Old Zealand

For the curious.

August 10, 1776

E pluribus unum is suggested as a national motto by Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Benjamin Franklin.

July 13, 1568*

On this date, Alexander Nowell discovered bottle-conditioning for beer (ale), when he forgot his corked bottle outside unintentionally.

(For American beer history, check this site.)

* The date he is credited with the discovery is often given as 1602. Since he died in February, 1602 at nearly 95 years of age, it seems a little unlikely.

*June 1, 1926

Two babies were born on this day who were destined to become famous American actors...Andy Griffith and Marilyn Monroe.

*What's Your Sign: Leo

(Previously, Cancer)

Leo is another Hercules-related constellation. Hercules's first assignment as a kick-ass hero was to kill a lion with an impenetrable hide that was creating havoc in the countryside. Hercules strangled it and used its own claws to skin its hide. Zeus made a constellation of the Lion so he could boast about his son at dinner parties.

*What's Your Sign: Cancer

(Previously, Gemini)

Cancer, or the Crab, actually has nothing to do with Zeus's sexual adventures. Instead, it is Hera's handiwork. Hercules was sent to kill a nasty water snake with nine heads, and of course did so. Hera tried to help the snake, though, by sending a huge crab to fight Hercules. The crab managed to pinch Hercules on the heel before being crushed underfoot. Exciting, eh? Valiant enough an effort that Hera made a constellation for it.

What's Your Sign: Gemini

(Previously, Taurus)

As we all know by now, Zeus got around. The constellation Gemini revolves around the story of another one of his trysts. See, Leda, wife of King Tyndareus of Sparta, was impregnated by her husband AND Zeus in the same night. She had two mortal babies: boy Castor and girl Clytemnestra. She had two immortal babies as well: boy Pollux and girl Helen (maybe you heard of her--she had a face that launched a thousand or so ships). Castor and Pollux were BFF and went on all kinds of adventures together. Unfortunately, mortal Castor was bound to die eventually, and when he did, Pollux begged Zeus to let him remain with his beloved brother. Their brotherly love was commemorated by Zeus in the form of the Twins constellation. Even though they're quadruplets. But whatever.

*What's Your Sign: Taurus

(Previously, Aries)

Taurus, or the Bull, is another constellation Zeus put in the sky to commemorate some great event. In this case, the event was his shagging the lovely Europa. He fell in love with her from afar, and transformed himself into a white bull so he could hang around the herds she often walked near. Europa became enchanted with the bull, and one day climbed on his back to ride along the beach. When he swam out to the island of Crete, Europa was forced to hang on for the ride. Europa bore three sons, including future king of Crete, Minos. Zeus named Europe after his conquest, and put the Bull constellation in the sky to remember her by.

*What's Your Sign: Aries

(Previously, Pisces)

Ever hear of Jason and the Argonauts and the quest for the ram's golden fleece? Same Ram as the constellation Aries. As the story goes, young Phrixus was getting hit on by his auntie. When he declined her advances, she accused him of rape. Just as his father was (hesitantly) about to cut Phrixus's throat in sacrifice to Zeus, Hercules wandered by and stopped the execution. "Daddy don't dig on human sacrifices, yo," he allegedly said. At the same time, a ram with a golden fleece was sent to rescue Phrixus and his sister. The two humans hopped on board the ram and flew away. When they landed safely, the ram told Phrixus to sacrifice him (the ram) to Zeus, and take his golden fleece to the king. The king was well pleased with the gift and became Phrixus's foster father. Later on, Jason went after the fleece, but that's neither here nor there. In commemoration of the ram's selflessness, Zeus placed him in the sky as a constellation.

*What's Your Sign: Pisces

(Previously, Aquarius)

The constellation Pisces honors two dolphins who saved Aphrodite and her son (Eros/Cupid) from a monster named Typhon. Zeus buried Typhon underneath Mt Etna, where his (Typhon's) fury produces the occasional volcanic eruption.

Here are a few other fishy myths.

*What's Your Sign: Aquarius

(Previously, Capricorn)

Tros, King of Troy, had a young son named Ganymede, who was quite the hottie. Women fell all over themselves trying to get with him.

Zeus abducted Ganymede from a field and brought him to Olympus to serve as his new cupbearer. The cupbearing job was really just an excuse--Zeus made Ganymede into his lover, and gave him immortality as well as a constellation in his honor.

Of course, this isn't the only theory.

*What's Your Sign: Capricorn

(Previously, Sagittarius)

The constellation of Capricorn honors the goat-nymph Amalthea, who saved an infant Zeus. Zeus was hidden from his Titan father, Cronus, who had eaten all of Zeus's siblings. While hiding in Crete, the baby was fed and taken care of by Amalthea. Capricorn means "goat horn".

Of course, as with all the zodiac constellations, there are other theories.

What's Your Sign: Sagittarius

(Previously, Scorpio)

The constellation Sagittarius represents Chiron, an archer and a centaur. Hercules, in pursuit of other centaurs, accidentally hit Chiron with an arrow. Chiron was in immense pain from the poison of the arrow, but he was immortal and could not die. One version of the story is that Zeus put Chiron in the stars to put him out of his misery.

What's Your Sign: Scorpio

(Previously, Libra.)

The constellation Scorpio comes from the story of Orion, the hunter. Orion bragged about killing all the animals in Crete, which displeased the goddess Artemis. Artemis was the goddess of hunting, but she was also a wildlife conservationist. She produced a giant scorpion from the earth to sting Orion to death.

There are other myths surrounding Scorpio, but the majority involve some variant of the Orion/Artemis/scorpion story.

What's Your Sign: Libra

(Previously, Virgo.)

Libra, as I understand it, was another constellation honoring Astraea, who was the goddess of justice.

Of course, there are other legends.

What's Your Sign: Virgo

(Previously, Leo)

Most people are aware of their astrological sign and the basic symbol behind it. Fewer people know the Greek mythology behind their Zodiac sign...

Take Virgo, which is my personal favorite sign. There are several myths and legends behind this constellation, but I'll share just one.

Virgo is the constellation commemorating Astraea, virgin goddess of purity, innocence, and justice. She was the daughter of Zeus and Themis, and the last deity to leave earth during the Iron Age. This period of time was marked by depravity and war.

Virgil wrote in his Fourth Eclogue that Astraea would return, "Now the Virgin returns, too; now Saturn's Golden Age returns." This was later thought to be a prophecy of the birth of Jesus.

*Vagina Worship

Ancient inhabitants of India believed that female genitalia had magical powers. After all, the womb is the giver of life. Worshippers hung symbols of the vagina over temple doors, and wore charms to fend off evil spells and disease. Stone carvings of the vagina date as far back as 35,000 B.C. The shape of the symbol was an oval with an open end, much like a more modern good luck symbol...

There are various theories and legends about the origin of the good luck associated with the horseshoe, but the one I prefer to believe is that it's just an extension of ancient vagina-worship.

*I Love Their Shoes, Myself

Before WWII, American lingerie was largely utilitarian...and almost never anything but white. In fact, a young man working for a mail-order company was fired for suggesting they sell black undergarments.

The young man, Frederick Mellinger, joined the Army and was sent overseas during the war. Mellinger happened to notice French lingerie was more colorful and racy, and his fellow soldiers seemed to enjoy it.

When Mellinger left the Army, he opened a retail shop in Manhattan. He had trouble getting his "pornographic" ads into the newspapers. Shortly thereafter, he decided to move to less-conservative Hollywood, where he thought he would meet with more acceptance.

Frederick's of Hollywood was born.

*Just Cinch It

Corsets had been popular since Catherine de Medici declared a ban on large waists in her court. Readers of Laura Ingalls Wilder may remember Laura's hatred of the restricting garment.

Today, corsets are no longer an everyday part of our wardrobe, unless we're really kinky. What happened to corsets? Did they simply fall out of fashion?

Corsets were extremely popular until America entered WWI, and a metal shortage required women to give them up. An estimated 28,000 tons of metal were saved!

The corset hung on after the war for a little while longer, but finally met its end when bras and elastic undergarments were popularized in the 1930s.

Tomorrow: How WWII brought sexy lingerie to America.

Dodo Birds

Sigh.

I love the movie Ice Age, but it'd be nice if people didn't think it was historically accurate.

Twice now I've been in conversations with people who used this cartoon to back up their stance on something. The first time was when someone said Stonehenge was in North America...although she wasn't sure exactly where. "Maybe Canada." When I asked why she thought that, she said that in the movie, the animals go past both Stonehenge and Yellowstone. Oookay. But Stonehenge is in England. "Then why would they have that in the movie?" Dunno. "Maybe they went over the land bridge in Alaska." Yeah, maybe. But I think that'd be an awful long way to walk.

Then today the subject of dodo birds came up, and someone said they were wiped out by the last ice age.

Sigh.

Dodo birds went extinct because humans killed them off in the 1600s.

"But they went extinct in that movie Ice Age." Yeah, and Wile E. Coyote always survived his falls to the canyon floor. What's your point? Besides, dodo birds lived on a remote island. "They did?" Yes, that's why people thought they were dumb...they hadn't known any predators or humans, so they were very trusting when humans came to their island. "Oh."

To learn more about dodoes, go here. As noted on the page, there are no dodo specimens around anymore. One European man stuffed his dodo when it died, but the bird's remains were not maintained very well. It made its way to the Ashmolean Museum at Oxford, but was thrown away in 1755. The curator saved only the head and a foot.

Around this time, the existence of the dodo was believed to be the same as the existence of the unicorn--pure fantasy. It wasn't until 1863, when George Clark found skeletal remains of dodoes, that their existence was accepted once more.

*Female Circumcision, Part One

Female circumcision is one of those cringe-inducing topics most people assume only happens in religious-extremist cultures. The origins of female circumcision are less clear than male circumcision, but there are a few plausible theories.

One theory is that the female genitalia were purposely disfigured to make the girl or woman less attractive to males. This would help her maintain her purity, of course.

Another theory is that the removed tissue was an offering to the fertility god(s) to ensure the woman would give birth to many children. This was the original purpose of male circumcision, after all.

Abraham--whom you may recognize from Christianity, Islam, or Judaism--has ties to the beginnings of female circumcision. As one Muslim legend has it, around 2000 B.C., God commanded Abraham to cut out his wife Sarah's clitoris. After the circumcision, she finally bore Abraham's child, Isaac.

A different legend has it that Sarah herself circumcised Abraham's mistress, Hagar, in a jealous rage. Supposedly this mutilation began the Egyptian practice of female circumcision.

Most historians agree female circumcision simply emulated the tradition of male circumcision. It was a way to mark the female's sexual maturity. In most practicing cultures, the surgery was part of a ritual to prepare the girl for her first sexual intercourse. Often the hymen would be ruptured at the same time the girl was circumcised, and the blood would be collected. The blood and removed skin were both offered up to the fertility god(s).

Of course, surgery was done without the benefit of anesthetic, so it was excruciatingly painful. Sometimes girls would struggle so forcefully that the operation turned fatal. The removal of the clitoris and labia was more invasive than the removal of a male's foreskin, and girls who didn't bleed to death faced a heightened risk of infection, as well.

Cutting the labia minora caused scar tissue to form and tighten the entrance to the vagina. The fact that this heightened males' sexual pleasure did not go unnoticed, and prostitutes took advantage of surgical mutilation for this reason. The smaller vaginal opening became a problem during childbirth, however, and another operation was needed to accommodate this. Often the woman would then undergo yet another surgery to retighten the vagina after giving birth.

Fun for everyone, eh? I'll have a look at modern female circumcision later this week.

*Breakfast Trivia

What do these two things have to do with one another?

The item on top inspired the items below.

In 1683, an army of Turks besieged the city of Vienna, which held off the attackers for months. When the Turks tried to get into the city by tunneling under the walls, bakers overheard the noise and sounded the alarm. The Turks were turned back and eventually defeated.

To celebrate, the Viennese bakers copied the crescent from their enemies' flag. It was called a kipfel, the German word for crescent. The pastry wouldn't become a croissant until the Austrian Princess Marie Antoinette married the King of France.

Rerun: Posts About Death

These were originally posted at my old site.

Everybody dies, and some of us are curious about that.

A friend of mine suggested I was preoccupied with death on this blog...so on that note, here is a Fun Fact about death (or banking, depending how you look at it):

Egyptians sometimes kept their relatives' mummified bodies above ground several years to be used as collateral to borrow money. Few people defaulted on the deal. If they did, they were refused a burial of their own and forfeited entry to the afterlife.

***************************

Apparently I am pretty morbid, because while I was on vacation, I went into the book store in Hayward, Wisconsin and saw two books side-by-side. One was titled "Sex: a User's Guide." The other, "Death: a User's Guide."

I had limited funds available, and wanted both but could not justify buying both. So I had to choose. I chose "Death." (I already know all about sex, heh heh. J/K.) This is a fascinating little book by author Tom Hickman.

He writes about the physiology of death, history of burials, etc. Some of it is kind of gross, but it's all presented in a pretty straight-forward fashion, so it doesn't seem exploitative.

One topic he discusses, of course, is mummification. I am fascinated by Egyptian history and artifacts. I own all the History Channel videos on the topic you could ever want. I have dragged several people along with me to visit New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art so I could go through their unbelievable Egyptian collection every possible chance. I always recommend it to people visiting the city.

However, for all my enthusiasm I am by no means an expert and often learn new things on the topic of Egyptology. That's one of the coolest things about history...there is always more to learn.

And what did I learn from Mr. Hickman? For one thing, the brain was removed from mummies and discarded because the Egyptians didn't see any point to that particular organ. The heart was thought to be the location of memory and intellect. I always knew the Egyptians kept the heart in its place while placing other organs (liver, lungs, intestines, and stomach) in canopic jars. I also knew the brain was, er, scraped out rather unceremoniously through the nose or from behind an eye and thrown out. I just never realized why.

Hickman also notes that Egyptians weren't the first or even best mummifiers. In Chile, bodies were being mummified two thousand years before Egypt. China started a thousand years after the Egyptians, but their work was far more impressive. For example, Lady Ch'eng was excavated from her tomb in 1972. She died over two thousand years ago, but "her limbs were still flexible, and her skin soft to the touch."

I could share more, but I'm thinking that last statement might be a little more information than a lot of people want to know. :-) Pansies. It's a cool little book, if you're curious about such things, check it out.

**********************

On the happy occasion of Odai and Qusai's demise, I would like to take this opportunity to share some facts about death. Specifically, the physiology involved.

You are encouraged to skip this post if the subject makes you uncomfortable. First of all, I am not a medical expert in any way, shape, or form. My information comes from a few sources. One is my mother, who is a medical professional. Another is a book I mentioned in an earlier post, "Death: A User's Guide" by Tom Hickman.

From Mr. Hickman, "When a body dies, it does so bit by bit. No longer being pumped and oxygenated, the blood settles on the underside, making the skin there reddish purple. This is known as hypostasis or postmortem lividity, a condition at its most prominent about ten hours after death...Muscles contract (rigor mortis), beginning within about four hours: first the eyelids, then the jaw, neck, and shoulders, then other muscles. After thirty-six to forty-eight hours, as the muscle fibers continue to degenerate, the body relaxes but it is now cold."

Seriously, if you have a weak stomach for this sort of thing, you'll want to skip the rest of this post. Don't say you weren't warned.

"Meanwhile the millions of bacteria in the gut eat through the lining of the digestive system and then invade the rest of the body. At the same time the blood's hemoglobin turns to sludge. The first sign of decay is usually a greenish patch of blood vessels on the lower belly...the pancreas, source of the digestive enzymes, digests itself. Putrefaction spreads as the bacteria proliferate; the veins become outlined on thighs and shoulders. Within a week...the disagreeable smell of hydrogen sulfide and methane has become apparent. Stomach contents may already have been regurgitated into the mouth and air passages...eyes bulge and the tongue protrude...the color of the skin changes to olive to purple to black...Within a few weeks the teeth and nails begin to loosen. Within a month or so tissues liquefy, and the main body cavities burst open." In a coffin, "full skeletonization may take a decade or more...fat people decompose more quickly than thin; those with a fever at death more quickly than would otherwise be the case."

Most people have heard that nails and hair continue to grow after death. This illusion is caused by the skin receding.

Bodies in the ground are taking longer to decompose than they used to...not just due to embalming fluid. The preservatives so common in food are, well, preserving us.

And on that note, have a great day. :-)

QWERTY

So you assume your keyboard is laid out in the most efficient way, am I right? Otherwise, why in the heck would the letters be so jumbled up?

The answer, my friends, lies in the typewriter.

In the 1870s when they were first being developed, typewriters tended to jam when used with great speed, so there was the need for a built-in delay. The keys were moved around to give the delay: yours.

So here in 2004 we are using keyboards made to conform to 1870s engineering.

*That Pink Little Whore

A little over 45 years ago, Mattel's Ruth Handler wanted to develop an alternative to baby dolls. She had a young daughter named Barbara who liked to play with teenaged paper dolls.

While in Switzerland, Ruth came across a beautiful blond doll named Lilli. She brought Lilli back home and modeled her new doll after her.

Now what most people don't realize is that Lilli was an adult doll for adults. Specifically--she was for men. She was based on a character from a German comic strip.

The character was a hooker.

*The French Were Ahead of Their Time

The parachute was invented more than 100 years* before the airplane.

Frenchman Louis Lenormand designed one in 1783 to save people caught in burning buildings.

* There is some evidence that shows the ancient Chinese actually invented one, too.

*What Do You Know?

About planets...

My "What Do You Know?" posts have some facts I find interesting/obscure/whatever about a given topic...and you are encouraged to debate or add to them. I never claim to know it all. ;-) So click to continue and leave a comment.

The Big Bang theory basically states that about 15 billion years ago there was a cataclysmic fireball, and a few billionths of a second after that was the first matter. When the universe cooled enough, more familiar particles formed...the neutrons, electrons, and protons that make up everyday matter. Gradually these particles formed atoms--mainly helium and hydrogen, which collapsed under the influence of gravity and created stars and planets.

The Big Crunch theory is based on the finding that gravity is slowing the universe's expansion. The pull of gravity may cause the expansion to stop and reverse back on itself...slowly at first, but then speeding up until the last moment when all matter will coexist as a single point.

Mercury has wide variations of hot and cold temperatures because it has virtually no atmosphere to protect it. The sunny side of the planet is as much as 750 degrees F, while the dark side drops to minus 330 degrees F.

Venus is the hottest planet in our solar system...approximately 860 degrees F regardless of time of day. This is because of it's thick atmosphere of carbon dioxide...the Sun's heat warms the planet, but the heat cannot escape into space.

Earth is the only planet in the solar system with liquid water. Our atmosphere is so thin that if Earth were the size of an apple, the atmosphere would be as thick as the peel.

The favored theory of the Moon's creation is that about 4.5 billion years ago a giant object struck Earth and produced a cloud of rocky debris that eventually collected itself together to form the Moon.

Mars has four seasons and used to have water running on its surface. Now frozen water can be found there. Olympus Mons is an apparently dormant volcano on Mars which is larger than any mountain we have here.

Jupiter has more mass than the other planets put together. Its makeup (75% hydrogen and 24% helium) is similar to the Sun, and its gravitational pull controls 16 moons as well as assorted comets and asteroids that come too close. For all its size, Jupiter has a quick rotation period...less than 10 hours, which turns its cloud features into east-west stripes.

Saturn's rings are no more than a few hundred yards thick, but can be seen through a backyard telescope. Scientists think the rings will disappear eventually as the particles fall into Saturn.

Uranus is tilted almost completely to its side (by comparison, Earth has a 23 degree tilt). One theory is that an object the size of Earth crashed into it and more or less knocked it over.

Neptune is believed to be mostly frozen water, but the reason it is the blue planet is due to a layer of methane in the top of its atmosphere. It also has the only large moon that revolves backward...possibly due to a collision with another, long-gone moon.

Pluto was named after the Roman god of the underworld and has a moon that is about half its size. The moon, Charon, is only 12,100 miles from Pluto (our Moon is 239,000 miles away), and orbits the planet every 6.4 days.

*What Do You Know?

About penguins...

I like pengies, so this one is just because it's my blog and I can talk about whatever I want. :-)

Penguins are flightless, but they "fly" underwater using the same motions as flying birds.

Emperor penguins have a unique form of child-rearing. The female lays one large egg, which the parents pass back and forth to incubate. After a few days of this, the female leaves to feed in the ocean. The male shuffles about with the egg on his feet, huddling with the other males to stay warm. If an egg is inadvertently orphaned, a male with no egg will adopt it. Two months after the mother leaves, the chick hatches and is fed by the father. The female returns, but not to her mate. She wandera from male to male until he allows her to take his chick. Then it is the male's turn to feed in the ocean.

Emperor penguins stand about 3.7 feet tall (1.1 m) and weigh up to 100 pounds(45 kg).

Little blue (or fairy) penguins, found in New Zealand and southern Australia, are the smallest penguin species. They are 16 inches (41 cm) high and weigh 2.2 pounds (1 kg).

Chinstrap penguins may be the most numerous of the penguins, with a population estimated at 6.5 million breeding pairs.

There are 17 species of penguins today. Scientists recognize 32 extinct penguin species. One extinct species, Anthropomis nordenskjoldi, probably stood 5 to 5.9 feet tall (1.5 to 1.8 m) and weighed 198-298 pounds (90 to 135 kg).

Despite their waddle, some penguins can walk as fast as humans.

Penguin colonies are usually found on islands due to the lack of natural land predators. Humans have encroached on some of the territory penguins used for millions of years; thus introducing predators such as dogs and cats.

The first documentation of penguin sightings is credited to members of the Portuguese voyage of Vasco da Gama in 1497 along the southern coasts of Africa. The discovery of South America's Magellanic penguin was chronicled during the journey of Spanish explorer Ferdinand Magellan (go figure) in 1520.

In the wild, most penguin species have a life span of about 20 years. In captivity, some have lived longer than 30 years.

*What Do You Know?

About the names of the days and months...

Sunday: named after the sun.
Monday: named after the moon.
Tuesday: named after Tiu, the Anglo-Saxon god of war.
Wednesday: named after Woden, Anglo-Saxon equivalent to Odin, the chief Norse god.
Thursday: named after Thor, Norse god of thunder.
Friday: named after Frigg, the Norse goddess equivalent to Venus.
Saturday: named after Saturn, Roman god of agriculture.

Click the extended to learn about the names of the months.

January: named after Janus, a Roman god with two faces. One looks into the past and one looks into the future.

February: derived from the Latin word "Februare" which means to cleanse. At this time of year the Romans performed religious rites to cleanse themselves of sin.

March: honors Mars, the god of war.

April: from the Latin word "Aperio" which means to open. Plants begin to grow this month.

May: after the Roman goddess Maia, and also from the Latin word "Maiores" which means elders. The elders were celebrated during this month.

June: after the goddess Juno.

July: was originally "Quintilis" as it was the fifth month in the early Roman calendar...later changed to July to honor Julius Caesar.

August: was originally "Sextilis" as it was the sixth month. It was changed to honor Augustus Caesar.

September: if you were paying attention to July and August, you can figure this one out on your own. This was once the seventh month, and took its name from "septem" which means seven.

October: See September, except it comes from "octo" or eight.

November: From "novem" or nine.

December: From "decem" or ten.

*What Do You Know?

About bestiality...

Sex with animals. I haven't posted anything truly disgusting in awhile, so I'm overdue. To any new readers, my apologies.

It's in the extended. Not for everyone. (But not graphic either.)

A 1948 survey of U.S. citizens found that 8% of adult males had sexual contact with animals...4% of men in cities and 17% of men in rural areas. These sexual acts included vaginal intercourse, masturbation of the animal, and oral sex (mostly with dogs and calves).

In the same 1948 survey, 36% of women owned up to having sexual contact with animals. The split was even between urban and rural women, and mostly involved oral sex with cats and dogs.

Sex between women and animals was common in the Roman circus. Usually the woman was a condemned convict who was penetrated by bulls, donkeys, and large dogs. The women often died.

Sometimes female slaves in the Colosseum were coupled with animals ranging from giraffes to lions to wild boars. The animals were specially trained. Their keepers probably accomplished this by smearing the secretions of female animals in heat onto the human females.

In 7th Century Ireland, bestiality was simply equated with masturbation by Church law. In 13th Century Sweden, bestiality was outlawed. Previously, the perpetrator was only fined if the animal's owner claimed damages. Later in Europe the practice was more heavily penalized...laws against bestiality were often passed alongside laws against homosexual sex.

In 1642 a New England colonist was convicted of sex with a mare, a cow, two goats, five sheep, two calves, and a turkey. The colonist and the animals were all condemned to die, except the sheep. No one could tell the abused sheep apart from the rest of the flock, so they were spared.

Some societies have been rather tolerant of bestiality...it was considered normal in some Native American tribes.

The ancient Egyptians were relatively unfazed...one sect conducted orgies with goats as part of a fertility rite. Having sex with a female crocodile was considered lucky.

The Hittites' code of law in 1400 B.C. declared sex with a cow, sheep, or pig was to be punished. Sex with a horse or mule was okay.

*What Do You Know?

About drinking cliches...

This one is a request from the Bartender...and one thing you kids should know is: Take care of your bartender and your bartender will take care of you.

He wanted to know the origins/meanings of these cliches:
Hair of the dog that bit you.
Drunk as a skunk.
Drunk as Cooter Brown.
Blind drunk.
Here's mud in your eye.
Never pet a burning dog.

"Hair of the dog that bit you."

Ancient cures often called for a second dose of whatever caused the problem in the first place. The Latin name for this was similia similibus curantar, which meant "like cures like." If someone was bitten by a dog, the remedy involved placing some of the dog's hair in the wound. The treatment for a hangover was another drink the next morning. The two ideas were combined and the second drink was called the hair of the dog that bit you.

"Drunk as a skunk."

This is probably popular only because of the rhyme. It is unlikely anyone has seen a drunken skunk. Possibly alludes to "stinking drunk."

"Drunk as Cooter Brown."

Do you live in the south? This phrase is mostly a southern one, and originated sometime between 1900 and the 1940s. If there was a Cooter Brown, he has been forgotten. It is possible this evolved from "drunk as a cooter." A cooter is apparently a turtle in the south? Y'all are weird down there. ;-)

"Blind drunk."

If you drink enough, your vision becomes impaired, of course. As early as 1622, poet Jeremy Taylor wrote:

For though he be as drunk as any Rat
He hath but catcht a Foxe, or whipt the Cat.
Or some say hee's bewitcht, or scracht, or blinde.
Which are the fittest tearmes that I can finde.

"Here's mud in your eye."

This one comes from horse racers, apparently. They would use this one teasingly, which equated to: "I hope the horse you're riding finishes behind mine."

"Never pet a burning dog."

I didn't find anything on this one...although a lot of people use it as a funny quote. I think it is fairly recent and has no deep meaning or origination. Just a guess.

*Useless Word Fact

Ever wonder why jeeps are called..."jeeps"?

Because when the vehicles were first delivered to the army, they were called "general purpose" vehicles and had "GP" painted on their sides. This led to them being called "jeepees" which was later shortened to "jeep."

*Frankly, My Dear...

Huh. So I have this little book that purports to explain common phrases. I flip through it now and then, and this one caught my eye:

"Don't give a damn."

Now what explanation would they have for that? I mean, it seems fairly self-explanatory...derived from damnation and the Bible and whatnot.

Apparently not.

According to this book, not giving a damn refers to a Hindu coin called a "damn." The value of this coin fluctuated greatly in India, and when it was at its lowest value British soldiers used its name to describe valueless items or facts. The phrase stuck.

*What Do You Know?

About death and government?

In nineteenth century Britain, you could be sentenced to hang for the following offenses: attempted suicide (!), stealing a loaf of bread, setting fire to a haystack, writing a threatening letter, associating with Gypsies, and writing graffiti on the Westminster Bridge.

The last public hanging in Britain was in 1868. The death penalty was made illegal completely in 1965. Seventy-three nations, including all of western Europe, have abolished the death penalty.

China, Iran, and Saudi Arabia execute more people annually than the U.S.

In ancient Greece, convicted criminals were allowed to take their own life.

In many European countries, suicide victims had their bodies officially mutilated and property seized. England didn't take the law against suicide off the books until 1961.

Among the Japanese samurai, seppuku is the word for self-disembowelment. It was abolished by law in 1873.

A report for the Czech government in 2001 concluded that smokers saved the state millions by dying prematurely.

In 1999, there were approximately 250,000 to 300,000 deaths from AIDS in South Africa. President Mbeki denies HIV is the cause, and his government denounces the World Health Organization reports on the subject as "not credible."

Biological warfare is nothing new. The Assyrians threw rotten animal carcasses over the walls of cities they besieged, hoping to spread disease. Romans threw corpses into their enemies' water supplies. In the 1700s British soldiers distributed smallpox-infected blankets to American Indians.

The Saxon king Edmund Ironside was killed while sitting on the lavatory. An assassin had hidden in the pit below and thrust a sword up the king's backside.

In Russia, 4 out of 5 men born in 1923 were killed in WWII...they lost 11 million soldiers total.

One Ashanti king killed 200 young women and had their blood mixed into the construction materials of his palace. He believed this would protect his new home.

In Norway, there is a law that all tombstones be of the same height. This law was passed in the 1300s when the aristocracy was wiped out by the Black Plague.

Source: "Death: A User's Guide," by Tom Hickman.

*What Do You Know?

About the human male reproductive system...

Cold showers boost the production of sex hormones in both men and women.

Men's testosterone levels are highest in summer and at dawn.

The steroid androstenol is one of the male pheromones that attracts women. Production of androstenol increases by 500% during December, which results in a larger proportion of September babies.

Some men's non-erect penises are always full of blood and do not increase in size during an erection. Some penises become more than ten times their normal size when erect.

Human penises reach adult size around the age of seventeen.

An ejaculation contains between 5 and 15 calories. The average speed of ejaculation is 17 mph, and the average distance is 6.9 inches.

The penis and clitoris develop from the same fetal tissue.

The word "honeymoon" comes from an Anglo-Saxon tradition where the newlywed couple would drink a mead rich with honey for a lunar month following their wedding. As a reputed aphrodisiac, honey was thought to increase fertility.

Viagra was originally meant to help angina patients. It relaxes certain tissues of the penis to allow more blood to flow.

Only 1% of heart attacks are triggered by sex.

According to the Kinsey report, standing is the least popular sexual position.

In the USA, most sex takes place at 10:34 p.m.

*What Do You Know About the Human Penis?

About the human penis...

Warning: you do not want to read this post. Trust me on this one.

(But if you do, let me know if you finish it.)

The physiology of erections was not understood until recently. Some theories were that gassy foods caused a buildup of gas in the penis. Thirteenth century physician Albert the Great thought lustful thoughts generated heat in the testicles which turned into steam, causing the penis to expand like a hot air balloon.

Roman writer Martial once wrote, "When you hear clapping in the baths, you know some moron with a giant dick has arrived."

Numerous surveys have been conducted on penis size, but few of them reach any consensus of "normal" size.

Many methods of increasing size have been used throughout history:

In 1503, explorer Amerigo Vespucci reported that native women made poisonous lizards bite their husbands' penises. This method was often successful, but occasionally an infected penis would burst. Other cultures have tried bees.

A Guyana recipe for penis enlargement involved a split eggplant and various ingredients (e-mail me if you want them)...the mixture was put on the erect penis which was then encased in the eggplant. The mixture inflamed the penis and temporarily increased the size.

Penis pulling was reported in the 1770s to be common in Russia, with nurses pulling the penises of newborn babies to lengthen them.

Some northern Ugandan tribesmen hung stones from their penises. Stretching a penis too long can make it impossible to obtain an erection, so don't try that at home.

There is a Taoist art of body control called chi kung, and the men attempt to reach sexual nirvana by lifting heavy weights with their penises. A coat hanger-like device is attached to the base of the penis and fitted with weights. They then work out with swinging and lifting motions, and some are able to lift 250 lbs 2 feet off the floor.

In 1989 an Indian man attached his penis to a car and pulled the car as a protest against rising oil prices.

The earliest recorded circumcision was in Egypt in 2300 B.C. It possibly developed as a male complement to female puberty. The onset of womanhood was marked by menstrual bleeding, so perhaps the men wanted something similar. This idea is supported in that nearly all tribal circumcisions are performed on young teen boys.

Most circumcisions involve only the removal of the foreskin, but some Arab ceremonies would remove all the skin on the penis of a boy at puberty. If the boy cried out, he was killed.

Sometimes circumcision includes subincision, which is the slitting of the underside of the penis. The cut can be half an inch long or along the entire length of the penis, depending on culture. One Aboriginal tribe would slice the penis in half to look like the tribe's totem animal...a lizard with a bifurcated penis.

In Burma men would often cut open their penises and insert small bells. Men in Malaysia used metal balls. Japanese used pearls. In Sumatra the men used small stones. All of these objects were meant to increase the females' pleasure.

Back to Burma...the more bells you had, the better lover you were thought to be. The noise would announce your presence. The best gift the king could offer was one of his own bells. It would, of course, have to be cut out and then presented to the lucky recipient.

If you've made it this far, good for you. I present the last fact about the human penis: although it has no bone, the penis can in fact snap if treated roughly. The corpora cavernosa (two blood tubes in the penis shaft) can break with a loud cracking sound if mistreated. Surgery should effectively repair the damage, but I wouldn't recommend trying it.

Source: Sex: A User's Guide, Stephen Arnott.

*What Do You Know About Adult Beverages?

About Adult Beverages...

"Brandy" refers to the unsweetened, distilled spirit derived from the juice of grapes. Brandy made from other fruits has the name of the fruit attached to it, such as apricot brandy.

Gin is made by fermenting mixtures of grains and flavoring the alcohol with juniper berries. The French word genievre for juniper is where the word "gin" comes from.

Rum is distilled from sugar cane by-products that result from the manufacturing of sugar. The rum is darkened by adding caramel and aged from 5 to 7 years.

Tequila is made from the fermented and distilled sap of agave plants, especially those grown in Mexico. The liquor is normally distilled twice to achieve purity and potency. It is not aged.

Vodka is a colorless almost tasteless liquid made by distilling grain, sugar beet, potato, or other starchy food material. The name is from the Russian word for water, voda.

Whiskey is generally distilled from grains, which may include barley, rye, oats, wheat, or corn. Nearly all Scotch whiskies are blends, normally distilled from barley malt cured with peat to give it a smoky flavor. Canadian whiskey is always a blend and is usually at least 6 years old when sold.